Thursday, January 05, 2006

C-Span Delivers! Abramhoff special rocks!

Whoo doggy!!! If you want compelling television replete with snarky innuendoes and people trying to as mean as possible while seeming friendly and contrite, you need to be watching C-Span, people! I swear to a higher authority that I saw people grow fangs from which bile acid slowly dripped on live television. Seriously, I swear! No special effects.
C-Span did a two-hour special on the Jack Abramhoff scandal (you know, the one where...shock!!!...our legislators are being paid to cut shitty deals in congress...yeah, I was *surprised* as hell too). They've been reairing it every 7 1/2 minutes.
Most of the show is pretty boring. There are three guys who sit around and alternate between patting themselves on the back for being the first journalists to really cover the story a few months ago and then try to look like they're interested when left- and right-wing wackos call-in with their consipiracy theories. Seriously, the show moderator gives a clinic on how to kill a call in mid-sentence after the caller rambles theoretically for 3 minutes. That guy has the magic kill-button finger! Nicely done. (Aside: Any psychology or communication graduate students want to do a paper on why callers to TV and radio shows always say, "I'll try to keep this short because I don't have a lot of time, but..." and then go on with the World's Longest Diatribe(TM))?
Somebody shoot these people. Maybe electrocute them over the phone. That would be really cool.
Anyways, I digress ;).
The really interesting part of the footage was watching the Senate hearings chaired by Johnny "I'll Git Yer Ass" McCain and some other guy with "interesting" hair. Johnny's raged seethed through the screen as political snakes tried to slither out of the allegations of fraud that he was pointing at them with a double-barrelled shotgun. The acidic repartee was at it's height between our boy Johnny Mc and some chick named Italia Federicci who headed some Republican Environmental organization. Yes, you read that correctly; this is not a test of Spot The Oxymoron.
Anyways, I haven't seen anything near as compelling out of the networks lately and I felt it was my duty to inform my loyal readers.
BTW, do I have any readers?