Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Lost's Plot tries to find its way to another season

I love Lost's first season. Fresh, new and reminded me of Robinson Crusoe! What could be better? Well the second season certainly isn't. I put up with the dramatic pauses in between under- and over-acted scenes last season because the plost was Now, these scenes just annoy the poop out of me. But they're not the only thing that has my hackles raised, and I don't know what hackles are!
Uh, dude? Where'd the doc go? I mean, like, uh...isn't there an underground lair somewhere that people are supposed to be punching a button on? That was certainly more interesting than whatever is going on with the "new" tribe and the "other" tribe. You know, the "new" tribe that we thought was the Others but turned out to not be bad people but actually people from the second half of the plane? But then they said that there were actually other bad people (the "Others"), and everyone should be really scared of them.
I mean, really, listen to how stupid I sound just trying to explain the absurdity of the plot. I don't have to make anything up for everyone out in TV-land to realize that this is the worst attempt at stringing out a good thing since the Cowboy's hired Parcells! My time is valuable folks. I happily gave it up every week when I was enthralled by the newness of people marooned on an island. Now, Lost feels more like a group of people who have been strung out on acid for 40 days and are actually 2.7 miles from Oahu's downtown, but they just have no idea.
My girlfriend holds onto Lost like a kid trying to take their 4th grade lunch box to freshman year highschool. She knows that giving it up is becoming inevitable.
The worst part? This segue into the backstory behind the "Others", or is it just the "other half of the plane"? My money is on the plot devolving into the plane actually split into 4.2 pieces, all of which somehow wound up on the island and each turning into their own little paranoid, skeeved-out series of romantic innuendoes. (Not even hot romance at that!)
Actually, I think the .2 part of the plane landed on a 7-11 in western Honolulu and the four survivors there will be getting a book deal telling their story of how they avoided certain death and a ridiculous jungle-themed plot.
Damn it! I don't even know what I'm talking about now! Maybe Lost is appropriately named...

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Desperate Housewives: Jumped the Shark???

I know it's been discussed on various message board forums, but I think it bears repeating; Desperate Housewives probably jumped the shark with the "Man in the Basement" episode. You know, the one where the guy jumps out of the cellar and attacks the new family? Really, very exciting!
Desperate Housewives should be renamed: Desperate Producers Trying to Come Up With Another Season. After all of the smartness and intrigue of the first season, we loyal viewers are being served up a heaping pile of Melrose Placeian dissolution. The obviously contrived new characters, the flailing randomness of the previous plotline and the absurd attempt to even the minutes per housewife. My girlfriend is coming unhinged trying to loyally defend the show, but even she realizes that the DH will likely be sent back down to the minors soon.
I could care less about that one housewife who is dating the pharmacist guy who killed her husband. I hope he turns her into his sex slave, forcing her into situations that make her abandon her victorian prudeabilities and strip her of any meaning in life. Turn the show into a late-90's indie-movie style epic that burns the banality of everyday life into the soul of the characters. Talk about unexpected plot twists!
Don't worry DH! You're not the only extra-season greed monger in TV-land. Wait until I get my teeth into Lost. Oh nelly, is there a train that gets derailed! But, sadly, all I want out of DH right now is a chance to subscribe to a Eva Longoria lingerie calendar. I'm even going to change my Tivo to something on PBS for Sunday night. It has to be more interesting than Teri Hatcher's perpetual state of distraughtedness.

Hello tv world...

Welcome to criticaltv, the blog about popular tv shows that we all love to watch. I'm here to share my special blend of news, views and snarky comments on what works and what does not in today's popular media. While I'd like to just preach to all of you and not have to deal with any of your opinions, this whole blog 'thing' allows for two-way conversations -- which means that I will have to entertain your ideas as well.
So, post comments if you must and I'll let you know if I think you're saying anything worthwhile. Please, no ads for timeshare condos, search engine optimizers (whatever those are) or amazing stock picks! Those guarantee a trip to the delete bin.
Otherwise, sit back, grab your Tivo remote and enjoy!
The Snark